Surfing the cosmos

Astronomers discovered another dwarf planet in our solar system and recently named it "Haumea"after the Hawaiian goddess of fertility.

As a Hawaiian, I'd like to dedicate an aspect of my gravity theory to this newest member of the solar system. I call it gravity wakes, or "the Haumea effect."

When a planet or other massive object rolls though space, it curves space and creates a wake along the way. Curved space is not a new concept. We can thank Einstein and general relativity for that. But a gravity wake is new. I'll accept the blame for it.

The idea follows from my theory that gravity is an effect of matter meeting resistance as it moves through space. As I have refined the application of this theory to rotating bodies, I have another prediction about gravity.

I predict that the gravity wake will be smoother for bascially round bodies as they rotate, and that the wake will be rougher for asymmetrical, rotating bodies. I hinted at this in my article titled "The Core of the Apple."

In that article, I said that the Earth has gravity variances around the globe because of its turbulent effect on spacetime as the planet moves through the cosmos. It dawns on me now that asymmetrical bodies --- like some dwarf planets and asteroids --- will have a more turbulent effect.

It is like the difference between dropping a smooth, round object and a jagged-edged object in water. With sufficient mass, both objects will fall but the turbulence following each object will vary on the way down. In extreme cases, the objects will fall in perceptibly different paths as well.

Haumea, for example, orbits the Sun in an irregular path --- through Pluto's orbit and higher than the other planets and dwarves. It also rotates faster than any planet or dwarf in the solar system. If it exhibits variable gravity, it may be due to the fact that Haumea is irregularly shaped, more oblong than round, creating an unusual gravity wake as it surfs the cosmos.

Atom-smashing gravity

No doubt, the Large Hadron Collider will produce some unexpected results when it goes online.

Applying my gravity theory to the possibilities, I predict that one result may be the discovery of uneven gravity waves emanating from the supercollider. That's because the LHC will smash atomic particles at unprecedented speeds, and the equivalence principle --- which equates acceleration and gravity --- dictates that the accelerated particles will manifest a gravity-like effect.

I suppose it is not a revelation to say that gravity waves will be that effect. I don't know, but I think general relativists probably foresee that result. However, my theory breaks down general relativity's implications on Earth. Basically, I think that the Earth creates turbulence in spacetime as it plows through space and that is what holds objects on Earth rather than matter attracting matter.

So I suspect that in the realm of atoms, where gravity will be manifest in some way through the LHC, the effect will be even more tumultuous. Perhaps gravity will be really mixed up.

Or maybe I'm mixed up. Thank goodness, it's just a theory.