Atom-smashing gravity

No doubt, the Large Hadron Collider will produce some unexpected results when it goes online.

Applying my gravity theory to the possibilities, I predict that one result may be the discovery of uneven gravity waves emanating from the supercollider. That's because the LHC will smash atomic particles at unprecedented speeds, and the equivalence principle --- which equates acceleration and gravity --- dictates that the accelerated particles will manifest a gravity-like effect.

I suppose it is not a revelation to say that gravity waves will be that effect. I don't know, but I think general relativists probably foresee that result. However, my theory breaks down general relativity's implications on Earth. Basically, I think that the Earth creates turbulence in spacetime as it plows through space and that is what holds objects on Earth rather than matter attracting matter.

So I suspect that in the realm of atoms, where gravity will be manifest in some way through the LHC, the effect will be even more tumultuous. Perhaps gravity will be really mixed up.

Or maybe I'm mixed up. Thank goodness, it's just a theory.